The Bachelor Hometown Dates

This week on The Bachelor, Matt Grant got to meet a real life American superhero... Lorenzo Lamas!

April 25, 2008

By Laura Gosselin
Bodog Nation Contributing Writer

On the first of his three hometown dates, Matt traveled to Los Angeles to meet Shayne's parents who included the Renegade himself – as well as Shayne's mother, a woman who can only be recovering from a punch in the face.

First up, Matt salivated to see Lorenzo Lamas who immediately broke the ice by telling Matt that Shayne only went on The Bachelor to further her acting career. Among the Renegade’s superpowers must be the "throwing the daughter under bus" ability. Wicked!

The Renegade deploys his sabotaging superpower.

He went on to further sabotage her chances by telling Matt that Shayne wanted to be a good actress, but even more than that, she wanted to be a star (because the Bachelor is the road to the Oscars). We all remember the bachelors and bachelorettes of seasons past – such as Drunk Chick who flashed and Scary Chick who went psycho. And of course, we all know that former Bachelor winner AND Bachelorette star Jen Schefft is currently working the PR circuit peddling deodorant sticks. Yes, Shayne, the post-Bachelor life is all accolades and floral scent roll-ons.

Shayne argued that Bachelor superstardom was not her motive; that she was here for Matt and nothing else.

Once again, the Renegade deployed his "throwing daughter under the bus" superpower, turned to Matt and said, "I think it was the idea of being on television that was very enticing to her."

Dr. 9021... Oh no

Next up, Shyane explained that hers was a broken home, and therefore we would be at a different location to meet her mother. Shayne's mother Michelle seemed like a nice lady and all, but holy plastic surgery gone wrong. Michelle was on the downside of 40 or 60 (it was hard to tell), but the poor woman was clinging to 20 by the tips of her false nails.

As the camera panned around the scene, nothing personified the tragic existence of Michelle’s war against the aging process than her house, which was all leopard prints, loud colors and pillows with embroidered deep thoughts such as, "So many men, so few who can afford me."

Can she get a refund?

Poor Michelle. She would probably cry herself to sleep if she hadn't just had her tear ducts tightened.  

Next up, Matt visited Chelsea in Durango, Colo. Lorenzo Lamas wasn't there.

Next up, Matt visited Noelle in Loveland, Colo. We met Noelle's dad Larry, mom Teresa, and sisters Alicia and Rachel. One sister says Matt's cute, and mom Teresa says he's tall. Lorenzo Lamas wasn't there either.

Finally, Matt went to Tallahassee, Fla., to meet Amanda's family. Amanda told us that she wanted to play a prank on Matt so she hired actors to play her parents and trick him. Riiiiight.

Finally... the rose ceremony. And the keepers were: Shayne, Chelsea and Amanda. Matt walked Noelle out and told her that although they had a connection, it wasn't the easiest. Noelle gracefully took the blame, telling Matt it was her fault for not opening up more. On the limo o' shame ride, Noelle didn't cry, whine or need to be bleeped, earning herself the reputation of the first girl ever to leave with dignity... if that's possible. 

Next Week on The Bachelor

Matt will take the women to Barbados for some serious sexy time.

How can a bachelor choose between three women when he hasn't even introduced them to his one-eyed snake? Never fear, Bachelor Matt Grant, ABC will hook you up by tricking women into having sex with you under the romantic guise of the "overnight fantasy suite" date. Yes, next week is "fantasy suite" night on The Bachelor, which seasoned Bachelor fans all know is code for FORNICATION. The big question is... who will put out?

When Matt Grant inevitably pulls from his pocket the romantic little card which reads, Should you choose to forgo your individual rooms, you can spend the night as a couple in the fantasy suite, it gives him the green light to score three women in three nights. Which of the contenders will take the bait? Stay tuned...

PHOTOS: All images are courtesy of ABC.