The Bachelorette Finale: DeAnna Brings 'Em to Their Knees

On the season finale of the Bachelorette, DeAnna Pappas brought not one, but three men to their knees

July 8, 2008

By Laura Gosselin
Bodog Nation Contributing Writer

Well, it was a tangled web, dear reader. If you're not an avid Bachelor/Bachelorette/Chris Harrison fan, then let me quickly break it down for you:

The drama started with a ruggedly hot bar owner named Brad Womack. Now, Brad decided that none of the women ABC presented him on a silver platter turned his crank and he therefore rejected the final two contenders, Jenni Croft and DeAnna Pappas. America shrugged its shoulders when Jenni was sent home crying, but when DeAnna also got the axe, the internet blew up with anti-Brad propaganda, because really, how could anyone not fall in love with DeAnna's overbearing overconfidence and tomboy charms?

Next, Ellen DeGeneres took DeAnna onto her show and presto, a Bachelorette was born.

Jesse tried to stand out by sporting fugly threads.

Throughout the season, DeAnna sifted through what seemed like a kagillion dudes, including a science teacher, a math teacher, an actor named "Spero," an investment banker, an aloof pro basketball player, a chef, a psychopath with a mullet, a Canadian, a guy in a funny jacket, an oyster farmer and as always, a  token virgin. Who did she choose? Well, my friends, the guy in the funny jacket took home the Pappas prize. Yes, Jesse Csincsak, the pro snowboarder who donned the hideous jacket in the first episode, is now officially engaged. Check out the proposal here.

This win, however, was not met without some serious heartache. And by heartache, let's just say it was one of the saddest rejections ever due to the sheer niceness of Jason Mesnick along with the fact that he was totally blindsided. After weeks and weeks of intense true love, Jason (whose ex-wife previously left him for another man) was so sure he'd won DeAnna's heart, he actually got down on his knee to propose while us viewers at home grimaced... chuckled... then grimaced some more.

Realizing that he'd suddenly dropped to his knees and was about to pop the question, DeAnna quickly blurted, "No, I can't," and grabbed his arm to pull him up. Jason's jaw tightened and he braced himself for the inevitable rejection speech.

DeAnna told Jason that she would be the luckiest person in the world to be with him, but that she was in love with someone else. In the limo, a shell-shocked Jason clutched the unopened engagement ring box and remarked, "The only sure thing I have is my little boy."

The Painful Return of Jeremy

Rejected contestant Jeremy was a classic overachiever. We know this because when DeAnna visited his hometown, ABC's cameras panned around his immaculate American Psycho home which included bar exam notes written on his wall (even though he passed the bar some time ago). Also, his personality was blander than a sandpaper sandwich. The only thing Jeremy had to offer DeAnna was a bond over their shared dead mothers, which was perhaps appealing to her at first, but wore off after their 20th conversation about dead mothers.

In classic, overachiever fashion, Jeremy was so shocked over his elimination, he thought there must have been a mistake and actually asked producers fly him back... because perhaps he misheard. Jeremy said he wanted answers, but really, he wanted DeAnna to take one whiff of his Armani cologne and realize he was her soul mate. She would then reject the others and ride off with Jeremy into the Bahamian sunset, destined to discuss the dead for the rest of their days.

However, for Jeremy, who also dropped to his knees, the only thing he would get out of his meeting with DeAnna was another rejection and one last conversation about his dead mother.

"I know this is tough for you, but I need you to know what's going on. I really do feel like you're making a big mistake with me. Ever since my mom died, I have been this statue," Jeremy told her.

"I have more than enough respect for you that I'm not going to drag you on any longer," DeAnna answered. "I will not lead you on. I will not drag this out until the last day and promise you something that I cannot give you. And right now, I am not in love."

Jeremy tried to explain that the reason he'd been rejected was because he hadn't opened up enough. No, dude. Really, if you opened up anymore, we'd be looking at your innards. How about it's because you’re boring? Ever think of that one? Throughout the show, Jeremy rarely smiled and took himself so seriously we viewers at home got goose bumps.  

Fan Girls Speak Out

You fan girls are never happy. Always whining, always complaining about the outcome of these reality dating shows. If Jason had won, there would be complaints about how DeAnna isn't ready to be a stepmother or how Jason's hair is a shade too dark. And right on cue, after Jesse's romantic proposal, our message boards blew up with complaints about DeAnna's choice.  

Message board philosopher Suzy said, "I can't believe she chose Jesse. He is an ugly, immature snowboarder. DeAnna is an idiot for not choosing Jason. He is hot, mature, he knows what he wants and did I say he's hot?"

Sally ranted, "I knew she'd screw up!" Paradise Girl chimed in with, "What??? A snowboarder with that hair and that immaturity?"

And manduhhh offered, "DeAnna is a bitch, she has no heart and chose the wrong guy, JASON UR HOT!!!!!!!"

Fan girls do NOT approve.

Do you agree with all the Jesse outrage? Do you think Jason will be the next Bachelor? Like it or not, fan girls, DeAnna, who put her whole heart into everything, made her choice.

What began as a cattle call for 25 men and one woman looking for love has officially dwindled down to our Colorado snowboarder, who once used his precious alone time with DeAnna to explain how he wants to find a girl he can fart with. Has Jesse found his dream girl? We at Bodog Nation wish them a long, happy life together filled with Dutch ovens and finger pulling.

PHOTOS: All images are courtesy of ABC.