The Bachelorette: No Bunn in DeAnna's Oven

If you can't be the guy who wins it, you might as well be the guy who fucks with her head

June 25, 2008

By Laura Gosselin
Bodog Nation Contributing Writer

This week on the Bachelorette, the unthinkable may have finally happened. After weeks and weeks of false alarms, DeAnna Pappas might have really had her heart broken.

Yes, the underlying lust DeAnna has felt for Graham the entire season came to an overwhelming head on Monday night when the emotionally retarded contender was sent packing after some serious, serious Bachelorette drama.

To make things juicer, what we have all been dreaming about has happened: a shift in power. For once on this show, a rejectee successfully gained the emotional advantage over the rejecter. Graham perfected the art of the mind fuck by flip-flopping between affection and aloofness in a way that had DeAnna's pretty little Southern head spinning. It was a fun game to watch.

On the hometown dates, DeAnna was over the moon when Graham finally became a normal human being – talking, laughing, interacting, showing affection – then at the end of the date, he tossed her the infamous Graham curveball: the big brush-off.

For no apparent reason, Graham said, "Hmmm," stared off into space and never came back to her. When DeAnna asked him what he was thinking, he clammed up and pretty much gave her the moody cold shoulder. Graham assumed DeAnna would return to the Bachelorette mansion to yearn for him even more, a strategy that had worked well for him in the past.

This was especially difficult for DeAnna because she was horny for emotionally unavailable Graham with a capital H. However, after his own mother had confirmed her fears (the dude is basically a four-week booty call), there was no possible way she could choose him, and in order to get the upper hand on her reluctant suitor, DeAnna had no choice but to dump his unappreciative ass because really, she was the one holding the cards, wasn't she?

After choosing Jesse, Jeremy and Jason, DeAnna walked Graham outside and laid into him for being unavailable because he was being just like the B-word, (Brad!) who, (if you haven't heard), broke her heart. She also chastised Graham for the way he took her rejection – just standing there swaying back and forth, smiling – when she wanted him to get down on his knees and curse God because c'mon, she's DeAnna Pappas. Show some respect.

Graham sneers at the prospect of rejection.

Graham listened as DeAnna threw a minor tantrum.

"I made it perfectly clear what it was like for me the first time with Brad. In the end, I felt like Brad led me on. Brad broke my heart. Right now I feel like I was being led on," DeAnna sobbed.

"You are entitled to make it easy on yourself and believe that," Graham stoically told her.

DeAnna then dropped the bombshell that he was the one person she was falling in love with, but she couldn't take the chance that at the end, she would be standing there and he wouldn't choose her in return. Then, Graham dropped his bombshell. He pulled out a letter. Dun dun duuuuuuuuun!

"I knew there were some things that I wouldn't be able to say to you," he said.

He told her that it would mean a lot if she would read it someday. As he got in the limo, a sobbing DeAnna wanted so badly to chase after him as he was driven off into the night. The question now is, will DeAnna pull a Brad?

"I'm tired of dating people who don't know what they want," DeAnna told cameras. "Now I'm scared I'm second-guessing my decision. First and foremost, I want to be in love. And what if that doesn't happen now?"

Graham's behavior leads one to question his motives: Was he really on the show looking for love? Or was he hoping to see a spike on his website's glamour shots or T-shirt sales? If he was there looking for love, it's OK, Graham, there are plenty of women out there who want their four weeks with you and your hot loner silence. Plenty.

Who Will She Choose?

Now, there are three dudes left: One of them is boring to the point of being scary; one of them is not even close to being ready for marriage and one of them has a kid. With the overnight "sex" dates looming, who will she pick? Will Graham return? And more importantly, will DeAnna Pappas become the female version of Brad Womack? Oh, the irony would be moist and delicious!

PHOTOS: All images are courtesy of ABC.